Seeing Through the Darkness
by SkinnyLittleLesbian
Summary: In which Emma and Regina communicate through writing.


**Note: **_Italics_ designates hand-writing.

* * *

**To:** rmills  
**From:** eswan  
**Re:** sorry 4 late notice – hope its ok I took Henry

R – went out for ice cream. Have him home by 9. E.

0-0-0

"Will you listen to me?" Regina bent down to look into his eyes, but he quickly shifted to look at the wall behind her. "I'm not saying you cannot see her-"

"Then what are you saying?" His acerbic tone cut her to the core, but she managed to keep the emotion from making her voice quiver.

"I'm saying that if you want to see her, you have to let me know more than thirty seconds before you fly out the door."

"She's my mom, too."

It was a painful truth – one that Regina would have still been fighting had she not realized it was a battle she would always lose. Keeping Henry meant accepting that he had a family separate from her, and smiling like it didn't hurt when he chose them over her.

"I know, Henry."

He pulled out of her grip and rocketed over to the door, just in time to crash lovingly into the stomach of the topic of their discussion. Emma wrapped her arms around his shoulders, but looked to Regina for confirmation. Regina fought the urge to frown deeply and tipped her head stiffly.

"Would you want to come with us?"

"I've had more than enough food from Granny's of late." Regina brushed her clothing flat, though there were no wrinkles or visible imperfections.

"We could go somewhere else."

"C'mon, Emma." Henry tugged on her hand. "She said no. Let's go."

For a moment before following their determined son, Emma held Regina's gaze. Regret clouded Regina's vision – if only she had accepted the offer while she still could – and understanding flitted across Emma's face. She opened her mouth, maybe to offer once again, but Henry jerked her out into the sunshine. Regina wasn't sure what just happened, but she shut the door and leaned against the stable surface. She had more than enough to worry about, beyond what that other woman was thinking.

0-0-0

**To:** eswan  
**From:** rmills  
**Re:** Inadequate Budget Proposal

Sheriff Swan,

I realize that it may be beyond your capability to understand but I must insist that all documents submitted to my office follow the guidelines prepared by my staff. Though your consistent flouting of the rules can, at times, be an attractive, roguish quality, it is simply unacceptable to send in a request for a bronze bust of yourself, valued at two hundred dollars. I have no idea what you plan to do with the money, but you must list the actual allocations on the forms as provided.

Thank you for your timely consideration of this issue,

Mayor Mills

0-0-0

Emma held a half-dollar between her forefinger and thumb. The five year old before her watched the silver coin as it twisted to and fro, enraptured by the promise of magic. She palmed the fifty cent piece and feigned throwing it into her other hand.

"Whoa…"

Waving her hands, and saying a few nonsensical words, Emma dropped the coin back into her waiting fingers and placed it into the kid's hand. "You can keep it."

"How you do that?"

Emma winced as the child popped the coin between his lips and suckled on it. "It's magic."

"But you din't do the smoke stuff."

"I don't need to." She ruffled his hair and stood. When she'd found the boy wandering the grocery store, he'd been on the verge of an emotional breakdown. He'd sputtered out something about mommy and lost and being scared, so she'd quickly defaulted to calming him down with a few sleight of hand maneuvers acquired in juvie. "So, tell me now. Where did you last see her?"

"I dunno."

"His name is Danny Van." A familiar voice purred. Emma turned and smiled at the approaching mayor. "I just passed his mother in the cereal aisle."

"Thanks." Emma glanced down into Regina's basket. "Making spaghetti tonight?"

"Yes."

For a moment, Emma indulged her active imagination and pictured she and Regina sitting down to a candlelit dinner. However improbable, they'd select the same strand of spaghetti, slurp it down, and then their lips would be pressed together in an impromptu kiss. It was a little ridiculous, and she chuckled.

"Well, I'll let you get back to shopping. I should get him to his mother."

"You're good with kids." Regina murmured, halting Emma's escape.

"You sound surprised."

"I am." Regina licked her lips. "Have you ever considered having another?"

"Maybe with the right person." Emma responded slowly. "But I'm still waiting in that department."

"Perhaps someday, then."

"Yeah, maybe." Emma wanted to look anywhere but at Regina, but found her eyes locked too entirely on the brunette's impassive face. When Regina blinked, and the spell was broken, she looked down at Danny. "Let's get you back to your mom."

0-0-0

_Thanks for dinner. You really didn't have to, but I really, really (really) appreciate it. Sometimes I work too long at the station and totally forget about that whole eating thing. You definitely made my night a lot easier. Maybe next time we could eat it together? Just a thought._

_Emma_

0-0-0

Regina's hand caught on the crook of her elbow. Emma halted immediately and swiveled to face the other woman. The meeting was over, Emma thought, so she wasn't sure why Regina stopped her from leaving. Indeed, the other council members had filed away already and they were alone.

"Would you be opposed to giving a tour of the station?"

"To who?"

"Henry's class." Regina knew she should remove her hand, but it seemed to like perching against Emma's soft skin. "It's career week and he's informed me that he's tired of talking about my being mayor."

Emma watched the muscles in Regina's jaw tighten. "I really don't want to overstep my boundaries, Regina."

Their eyes met and Regina sighed. "Even if you don't, he does."

"Maybe you could be there too?" Emma put her hand over Regina's and squeezed. "And we could talk about how we work together to keep Storybrooke safe and running?"

The thought hadn't occurred to Regina. She moved her thumb over Emma's arm as she considered the option. "That may appease him."

"Will it appease you?" They had been touching for a while, Emma noted, and she really couldn't complain. Regina's grasp was gentle and soothing, and Emma couldn't help but relax under it.

"I think it will."

"It's a good compromise, I think."

"Since when have you been in the business of compromising to meet my needs?"

Emma shrugged and leaned instinctively closer. "I have no idea, honestly. But it seems to me that Henry needs a better example, y'know? I – I'd like – it might be best for him, I mean, if we were to – get along?"

"Oh." Regina was disappointed by Emma's emotional sidestepping. She'd almost expected some sort of romantic speech to issue forth from the blonde's lips – but she'd forgotten to whom she was speaking. If Emma had any feelings one way or another, they'd be expressed through small smiles, flashing eyes, and fumbling fingers – not through words.

"Would you – maybe like that, too? Getting along I mean?"

"Yes."

0-0-0

Dear Emma,

At Dr. Hopper's insistence, I am writing you this letter. He says I do not have to send it; however, I think this missive may clarify some of our recent interactions. I only ask that you keep this letter private – sharing with your saintly mother is strictly prohibited. If you cannot abide by this, please shred this document.

Despite my best efforts to the contrary, I find myself attracted to you.

I make excuses for you to come to my office, because your smile has the ability to make a horrible day seem bearable. I drop by unannounced, because when you are flustered, your barriers are not erected and you say more than you ought. I instigate altercations, because of the way your eyes light up when you perceive a challenge.

In short, I am unfortunately addicted to you, Emma Swan.

Due to our contentious history, I am aware of how shocking this may be. You are free to act upon this letter in any fashion you deem necessary. My only request, beyond you maintaining my privacy is a response. It is healthier, or so the good doctor tells me, to determine your feelings. Hope is nearly as horrible a curse as being alone, Emma, especially when the odds appear insurmountable.

Should this leave you disgruntled, please return it to my mailbox. I will understand this to be a polite rejection of my affections and we will never speak of it again.

Yours,

Regina Mills

0-0-0

They stood on the porch, facing each other but not touching. A gust of fall air caused a strand of dark hair to slip from behind Regina's ear and Emma reached out slowly, her fingertips grazing Regina's cheek as she tucked the wayward strands back in place.

"Thank you." Regina said, her gaze alternating between Emma's eyes and lips. "I had more fun than I expected."

"I can't believe you've never gone bowling."

"And I can't believe you use bumpers."

Emma flushed and laughed. "I don't like losing."

"I suppose I should go relieve Ruby."

"I suppose." Emma echoed. Her throat closed unexpectedly – this was the moment they were supposed to kiss, she realized, and she was blowing it. She leaned carefully closer and waited for Regina to meet her halfway. The brunette, however, remained perfectly still.

"Emma?"

The blonde felt awful. Had she misread the signals? "Yeah?"

"Are you going to kiss me?"

"I went ninety. You were supposed to go ten."

"What?"

"It's, like, first kiss rules."

"Oh." Regina was mortified. In the Enchanted Forest, ladies were to be passive. Should their suitor choose to gift them with affection, and they were willing, they simply accepted. There was no silly rule about who leaned how far.

"Did you want me to kiss you?"

It was Regina's turn to flush. "I-"

Emma pressed their lips together much too quickly, resulting in a jarring clash of teeth. She tried to pull away, but Regina grabbed her shoulders and reinitiated. This time their lips slid smoothly over one another. Before Emma could make the bold move of slipping her tongue into Regina's mouth, Regina withdrew.

"Was that too much?"

"It was perfect."

0-0-0

_Hey, babe, I left something for you somewhere in the house. Not telling you where! It's an adventure! Okay, but really, here's a hint – It's in the fridge. I'm not so good with subtlety, but you knew that. Also, who made Post-It notes so small? I had this whole big romantic spiel but I'm running out of spa_

0-0-0

The fire place had never been used, Emma was shocked to discover. It was one of the first changes she made to the Mifflin Street house. She was beginning to spend more time there than anywhere else, and she was not going to forego a roaring fire if she had the option. She checked the flue, loaded the firewood, and struck a match. All the while, Regina lounged on the couch with a book in her hand, but her eyes on the fastidious blonde.

"Isn't it awesome?"

"It's a fireplace, Emma."

"You're like a fun-sucker." Emma smirked. The malice that had filled her words during the first few months of their knowing one another had expired, leaving behind a gentle affinity for teasing.

"Oh, yes, I had forgotten." Regina rolled her eyes.

"It's a bit romantic, isn't it?"

"It's a fireplace."

"Yeah, you keep saying. But, like, imagine if you had a bear rug."

"I'm afraid of where your thoughts are transporting you."

"Okay, so here's the scene: You, me, a fire in the fireplace, a bear rug, two glasses of red wine, and a lot less clothing-"

"I'm going to stop you right there, Ms. Swan." Regina's lips curled up. "Need I remind you that Henry is upstairs? We don't need him hearing your lewd fantasies."

"Yeah, yeah…" Emma plodded to the couch and flung herself down. She squiggled until her head was in Regina's lap. "You cool if I take a nap?"

"Do as you wish." Regina returned her attention to her book, but dropped one hand to Emma's hair. She threaded her fingers through and stroked as she read, even after the ever-active blonde had dozed off into a contented slumber. This, Regina decided, was as good as it would ever be in her life. She'd struggled through so much, and somehow, even after all the ill she had wreaked, she had found a happy ending.

0-0-0

Regina's finger was cool against her hot skin. It roved along the curvature of her spine, dipped along her shoulder blades, and finally began tracing letters.

_I need you._

_I want you._

_I love you._

0-0-0

"How could you?" The words flew from Regina's mouth with more malicious intent than a bullet exiting the muzzle of a gun. "You knew I was against it and you did it anyway!"

"Chill the fuck out." Emma snapped. It had been a long day at work, dealing with the paperwork resulting from a bar fight the night before. The day before was the anniversary of the curse breaking, and most residents used the date as an excuse to cut loose. Formerly mild-mannered citizens turned into monsters, Emma thought. "He's perfectly safe."

"That's not the point, and you know it."

"Oh, do I?" Emma slammed her fist against the wall – not hard enough to break anything, but certainly with enough force to rattle the fine china in the cabinets. "Tell me, Regina. What do I know?"

"I told you specifically that he was not to go to that party."

"I forgot, okay!"

Regina's hands trembled at her side as she resisted the urge to fling fireballs at Emma's face. "You undermine my authority and your only excuse is that you forgot?"

"It's one stupid party!"

"I don't care about the party! I care that I told him he couldn't go, as it was a school night, and you gave him permission. We are supposed to be a team, Ms. Swan, but it's becoming ever so clear who he actually respects."

"I forgot."

Regina simmered darkly. She wanted to lash out, but she'd come to recognize the self-destructive cycle she was so often caught in. Archie, she determined, was actually doing his job. When she felt threatened, she tried to destroy anything good in her life. Was throwing away her relationship with Emma over a meaningless party worth the emotional fall out? She was enraged, but she could contain the damage.

"I can't look at you right now."

Emma tucked her hands into her pockets. "Honestly, babe-"

"Don't call me that."

"Regina. It's been hectic at work and it slipped my mind."

"I – I hear what you're saying, but I can't listen to you. Can you understand that?"

"Okay." Emma nodded. "I'm not running away, but I'm going to give you some space. I'll be at my apartment when you feel ready to talk."

"Thank you." When she was alone, Regina threw herself to her bedspread, tugged a pillow against her face, and sobbed.

0-0-0

_Dear Regina,_

_Happy two year anniversary! We both know how horrible I am with gift giving, but I thought writing you a letter couldn't go too terribly wrong. So here it is. The Emma Swan Official List of the Top Five Reasons I Belong With You._

_1. We share a son. That's like fate, isn't it? I know fate's been a bitch in the past, but I think it really worked out big time for us._

_2. The fights are big and brutal, but at the end of the day, it's you I want to fall asleep with even when I'm angry._

_3. I love every ornery inch of you, especially that beauty mark on your thigh. You know the one ;)_

_4. You don't let me get away with anything. Seriously, being the savior is great, but it's not like I'm perfect. You keep me grounded._

_5. You make me happy. I hope I can do the same for you._

_My life would be so different without you at my side. We've been through so much together – from being at each other's throats, to spending an entire day in bed. Two years isn't that long, when you think about it, but these two in particular have been the happiest in my life._

_Love,_

_Emma_

0-0-0

Regina couldn't quite swallow. Emma was reclining on the couch, her feet dangling over the arm, the newspaper resting against her chest. She waited patiently for Emma to flip to the next page – to the editorials. Her palms were sweating.

Oblivious to Regina's presence, Emma licked her finger tip and continued on. Moments dragged on in complete silence, until Emma let out a small choked hiccup. The first and only editorial in that day's newspaper was a very public, very sweet, proposal – written by Regina and directed at her. When she set the paper aside, keen on finding Regina, the brunette was already beside her, a glittering ring on her palm.

"Will you marry me?"

Emma accepted the ring and slipped it onto her finger. It was a touch too large, but that could be altered. The band was simple – silver and slim, with three diamonds set in. The first and third were black, and the middle white. The meaning was clear to Emma – she was the goodness in Regina's dark heart.

"Yes."

0-0-0

Before Emma Swan came into my life, there was nothing. That is to say, I was nothing. I was focused on everything bad and nothing productive – and there was no hope. She is this town's savior, but more importantly, she is mine. She rescued me from the grave I had dug for myself and gave me cause for change.

On this day, with family and friends all around, I am honored that she becomes my wife. I could spend the rest of the month arguing all the reasons why this should not happen – why she deserves so much more than I have to give, but in the end I don't think I could let her go. I stand here before her and take this leap of faith.

I love you, Emma Swan, because you saw through the darkness. You saw me.


End file.
